Broken Little Person Sitting On A Tree Limb

Tuesday, 07/25

12:00AM–6:59AM: Pretty much the same as how yesterday was spent …driving …continual, endless, unyielding driving.

7:00AM: The journey has reached its end. We pull into 3XHAR's driveway, slide open the minivan doors, and proceed to share with his neighborhood the breathtakingly potent scent that we've been living in for the past 32 hours. Gratefully, the tornado sirens aren't set to register that type of atmospheric disturbance, so we unload in relative peace.

Ahhh, the end of the road. And what a road it's been. For many a day we'll remember the sights, the sounds, the smells …(no matter how we might try and forget the smells, they'll unfortunately linger long after the last bag has been unloaded) …of our travels to the far-off shores of the Xanaduesque land known as Wash-Ing-Ton.

With a hale and hearty farewell (i.e., the male equivalent of a hug, sharing a high-five with one another) we bid each other a fond adieu and head back to our respective lives that, for this ever-so-brief a moment, were left behind in our quest for grand adventure (i.e., the perfect sushi, new and unequaled cleavage perches with which to snap pretty pictures …purely for the artistic integrity mind you, free samples of Red Bull, and the majesty of our country that only a journey on the open road will bring).

We like to think we've learned a little bit not only about each other, but about ourselves as well.

But wait ...we're not done yet ...

Postscript:

Now that a few weeks have passed since our return, we've had the chance to look back on our travels with equal measures of fondness, nostalgia, and 'what-were-we-thinking?' epiphanies. As a result, some takeaways/observations that shall be recorded in the historic record of past and future Wacky Road Trips are as follows …

>The State of Montana came close to breaking us …it was perhaps only the gaping chasm of hopelessness that lay ingrained in the deepest part of our very souls when viewing the long, long road of Montana that prevented a mutiny from occurring. Oh …we've had similar experiences in the past …traversing the entire State of Illinois from the southernmost point all the way to the Wisconsin border (and the bleak and gray coffee that we encountered there) on Wacky Road Trip I …the unending flat that is Kansas (flaattt …so very, very FLAAATTTTTTT) from Wacky Road Trip II …the roundabouts (i.e., inspired works of pure evil) that we encountered in Washington D.C. on Wacky Road Trip III …none of these seem to have accomplished the bending of our spirits that was achieved by the long, long, so very long road of Montana. With that being the case, 3XHAR and I have agreed that it may be prudent to implement a 'maximum distance' qualifier on subsequent Wacky Road Trips (and oh …rest assured …there will be subsequent Wacky Road Trips). Otherwise, if our destination lay beyond our yet-to-be-determined maximum distance, we shall implement the contingency plan that shall come to be known as the 'Wacky Plane Trip'.

>When you travel across the country, time zones change. When calling back home to significant others, said time zone changes should be factored into the equation (sorry about that Melissa).

>When six people are squeezed into the 'Das Boot'-like confines of a minivan for 30+ hours, one should refrain from utilizing spray cologne inside of the minivan lest he spray not only himself but every other person, item, and inch of the minivan interior. This is particularly important to remember if the afore-mentioned cologne (even if it does bear the markings of 'Old Spice' on the label) brings to mind the dichotomous sweet and sour aroma of a tarted-up courtesan eating Fruit Loops and playing a robust game of fetch with a wet, longhaired dog while in a tepid swamp.

>Sugar-free 'Red Bull' tastes better warm than it does cold.

>When the person (hereafter referred to as the 'requester') who is putting together the Wacky Road Trip Mix CD's requests of the other participants (hereafter referred to as the 'requestee') of the Wacky Road Trip some particular songs of their choosing to include on said Mix CD's (with which the direction/tone/theme of any individual-specific Mix CD will be derived), it's probably in the best interest of the requestee to actually provide some particular songs of their choosing to the requester, otherwise they leave the direction/tone/theme of the individual-specific Mix CD open to the discretion of the requester. (And believe me, as 'He Who Shall Have No Name' can attest to, there are some rather filthy songs that can be gotten on iTunes …sorry about that Rik).

>When a veteran of every past Wacky Road Trip tells a 'rookie' to "turn left here", he should indeed turn left here.

>When making solo use of your host's outdoors hot tub/Jacuzzi during the evening hours, you should cover said outdoors hot tub/Jacuzzi when you're finished lest you wish to provide an open invitation to every manner of insectoid visitor to make use of it as well. While past posts re/WRTIV have gone to great lengths to praise the outstanding cuisine that Seattle has to offer, it's doubtful that 'bug stew' is on anyone's menu when it comes to fine dining.

>We're fascinated by the fact that a country music/trucker song from the 1970's (namely, 'Convoy') references the color 'chartreuse' in the lyrics. This prompts a number of questions regarding the Trucking industry, however, recognizing the fact that "accidents happen" (i.e., Jimmy Hoffa is still missing), none of those questions shall be asked here.

And so closes the tome that shall come to be known as 'Wacky Road Trip IV'. Stay tuned for the chronicles of 'Wacky Plane Trip I - Viva Las Vegas', tentatively coming your way in March of 2007. Be there ...Aloha!

Monday, 07/24

12:00AM–4:59PM: We drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive he's on the phone again and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive they can burn the entire state of Montana for all I care and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive dear God will this never end and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive Tra la la tra la la la tra la la tra la la la la one banana two banana three banana four four bananas make a bunch and so do many more and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive are we there yet and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive quick someone teabag Rik and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive I'm just saying and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive which one of you bastards took the last Red Bull and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive huh huh huh you said rod and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive shave it f**ker and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive all work and no play makes jack a dull boy and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive and we drive.

5:00PM: We leave the state of Montana …an enfeebled "Hurrah" escapes the lips of those who still have some modicum of consciousness.

5:01PM-11:59PM: And we drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive an drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive an drive and drive and drive and drive and drive …AND STILL WE DRIVE …you get the picture.

Sunday, 07/23

9:00AM: Our last day in Seattle …we are still sad. But regardless, we're going to make the most of it! Off to breakfast at a restaurant owned by the same group as owned the one we went to for dinner last night, hence this one changes themes/menu items monthly as well. The theme for this month is 'Greece'. A wonderful meal was had by all.

Hmmm, I sense a trend with this WRT …most meals on the past ones seem to consist of pulling into a 7-11 for beef jerky, Krispy Kreme donuts, and the caffeinated beverage of choice (just to keep things on the cheap …which, of course, is one of the tenants of the WRT). This trip has shown us the benefit of visiting a locate where friends live, in that we've had the advantage of visiting a number of great restaurants that only locals would know about, including this one. Mmmm …salmon sausage …gingerbread waffles …lemon drenched potatoes …da-rool, da-rool.

11:30AM: Prior to coming on the WRT we had heard about Seattle having a Science-Fiction Museum. We had actually walked past it yesterday just to scope it out, but events of the day were such that we didn't have the chance to stop in. Today seemed an opportune time to do so …last day here …extreme heat so spending time inside in the air-conditioning seems prudent …geek factor.

In the front lobby there's a life-size (which in this case equates to 8 feet tall) replica of the robot 'Gort' from the movie 'The Day The Earth Stood Still'. We sense a photo opportunity …we don our Mexican wrestling masks (including our hosts …yes, we brought ones for them as well) and impose upon the person at the ticket counter to snap our picture with the afore-mentioned robot. The locals viewing this are amused.

So, in we go …Truthfully, while I thought it would be somewhat cool, I wasn't terribly excited (thinking that it would be rather one-note and gimmicky), but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a rather serious representation of the science-fiction phenomenon, from movies to art to novels. The highlight for me was that there were a number of displays (theme based) that contained quite a few first-edition science-fiction novels. That, and the pictures/displays of girls with guns …can't stray too far from the old base instincts, now can we?

2:00PM: We head back to Alice and H-B's home to wind-down before we go out for dinner and then hit the road. It's a somber ride, as we're all somewhat tired from the long weekend and still a bit sad that we'll be leaving in a few hours. Well …when you're down there's always one thing you can do to perk up …that's right …we sing, Sing, SING! (And, with apologies to Alice …sorry about this …it went so well the first time, we bring it back for an encore) …

"High on a hill stood a lonely goatherd,

 

Ladey-yodelayhee-yodelay-hee-oh!

 

What would you give for a girl and goatherd,

 

Ladey-yodelayhee-yodeloh!”

You get the idea.

3:00PM-6:00PM: Last minute packing, naps, and clickee (i.e., smashing vehicles in a visual ballet of bloodletting via H-D's X-Box).

6:00PM-8:30PM: Our last dinner in Seattle. We eat at a seafood place that's on Puget Sound (very nice), spend a bit of time on the boardwalk there, snap a few last minute pictures, and then head to Starbuck's to get some caffeine for the road.

We bid our fond farewells to Alice and H-D, and then off we go, basking in the warm glow of camaraderie and enlivened by the fact that, although Seattle will be fading into the distant memories of time, we still have 30+ hours on the road to look forward to (look forward to?) …oh well, Huzzah!

9:30PM: But before we get too far down the road, we call Alice and H-D one last time and share with them our group yell/goodbye/WRTIV mantra of …"Shave it, F**ker"!! …(Long story).

11:30PM: So here's the thing …on past (and present) WRTs we have yet to run into any encounters with 'The Man' (i.e., being pulled over by the police). The code of the open road seems to suggest that, theoretically, as long as you aren't going any faster than 9 miles per hour over the posted speed limit, you should be fine. Well, in the grand scheme of things theories run the risk of being proven wrong, and as such our time had come …well, more to the point (since I was driving), my time had come. Sure enough …while still in Washington the red flashing lights appear in the rear-view mirror. My mind briefly flashes back to 'Eastbound and Down' from 'Smokey and The Bandit' (the first song on the first Wacky Road Trip Mix CD that we played) and I consider making a bold and manly vehicular maneuver and leave the officer of the law in my dust …hah!!! I then remember that we're in a minivan packed to the walls with six guys in it, as opposed to a souped-up Trans-Am with a hot girl in the passenger seat. I pull over.

As a related side-note …one of the things we noticed when in Seattle is that people there are very nice …one might even say that they were consistently bright and cheery (and even though these states of being/mind/demeanor are, for the most part, foreign and somewhat frightening to me, I still found these interactions to be rather pleasant). Now granted, we were basing this observation primarily from interactions with the Baristas that we encountered at various coffee shops (whether Starbucks or other local-only establishments), but nonetheless …

So, the officer of the law walks up to our side, and after taking a look at my license and the minivan rental agreement and reminding us that the speed limit is 70 miles per hour (not 79) continues our interactions with very nice (one might even say consistently bright and cheery) Washingtononians and wishes us a good rest of the evening and a safe trip back …no ticket, no warning, no lecture …just a bright and cheery good evening to send us on our way.

I regret my passing thought of throwing one of the rookies out of the minivan (pantsless, or course), shouting “look out …he’s got a hologram” (sorry …inside joke), and thus enabling the rest of us to speed away in the ensuing chaos.

Saturday, 07/22

9:00AM (or thereabouts): Into the city we go!

10:30AM-4:00PM: After breakfast …mmmm, donuts …we check out Pike's Market and other similar venues that are nearby in the open-air market locale (and underneath! …The area has a wide-variety of stores that are located below street level). It's quite entertaining. My goal/request/'monkey on my back' of nurturing my inner-geek (i.e., buying some toys) is fulfilled.

4:00 PM: Time for a bite to eat …we head to a 'Taste Of Seattle' type event to sample some cuisine unique to (or at least specialized in) the Seattle area.

They have brats.

Seeing as how we're from Wisconsin, we already have a familiarity with brats, so that (combined with the extremely high temperature and humidity …oh, didn't I mention …we seem to have brought the warm weather and sweat-dripping humidity with us, as Seattle is undergoing the hottest temperatures they've had in many a moon …oh well) prompts us to decide to head to the air-conditioned comfort of a restaurant that our hosts are familiar with. It's rather unique in that it changes the theme of the décor/menu on a monthly basis.

Coincidentally (and what a marvelous coincidence it was), they have a southern California/Mexico-related theme this time around, which includes in the décor, heavy doses of Mexican wrestling (i.e., Lucha Libre)!! The placemats and menu contain pictures of various masks, including the exact one that was gotten by Super HOTPA …we are amused.

6:30PM: Off to the beach to provide Bag Man with the opportunity to snap some pictures of the local flora and fauna (i.e., girls in swimwear) …many pictures are taken …no, let me rephrase that …many, MANY pictures are taken. I limit my picture taking to the water, sand, and sky. It's only coincidental that some of the afore-mentioned girls in swimwear happen to have gotten in the way.

8:30PM: We head back to H-D and Alice's home. We have to leave and head back to Wisconsin sometime tomorrow …now we are sad.

Friday, 07/21 (Cont.)

So …we've arrived at our destination in Seattle …Huzzah! After 36 hours of travel with six guys in a minivan we …well, let's just say that we have a unique aroma about us (about us, on us, in us around us, etc.). Time to jump in the shower before we do anything else. No, not all together (you sickos) …there's plenty of time for that later in the hot tub.

12:00PM: We head downtown, only instead of six of us packed in the minivan, there are now eight (since we didn't want to have to coordinate two vehicles). I'm relegated to the far back where the luggage usually goes.

With the main agenda item for WRTIV being to visit Alice and H-B, none of us really had much in the way of 'must do' items for this trip …with the exception of eating sushi. Mmmm …sushi. Many of we WRT participants who, coincidentally, also work at the same place try and have sushi for lunch once every other week or so. However, Wisconsin sushi is a far cry from Seattle sushi (the whole proximity to the ocean thing), so we've been salivating for months at the prospect of sushi in Seattle …we aren't disappointed. We have lunch at a downtown sushi establishment that's simply grand! The highlight was a unique mango shrimp sushi …mmmm …mango shrimp sushi. Lunch takes longer than normal, since after every bite a number of us have to close our eyes and visit our respective happy places.

1:30PM: We do some other stuff downtown, but since I was kind of tired (the whole 36 hours in a minivan thing), I don't really remember what it was that we did. Oh well …I know I have a good time.

5:00PM: Back to H-B and Alice's place.

5:15PM: Naps

7:00PM: H-B cooks dinner for us on the grill …Steak (with a unique coffee rub on it), crab legs, potatoes, mushrooms …mmmm …our respective happy places are being visited quite a bit today.

9:00PM: A visit to the hot tub for some of us (four of the WRT participants to be precise). Four guys lounging in a hot tub wearing Mexican wrestling masks …we have pictures.

Friday, 07/21

2:00AM (or thereabouts): While winding through the wilds of Montana we spot a light on the distant mountainous horizon …hmmm …wonder what that is? As we get closer we can see that a few of the mountainsides are on fire …hmmm …controlled burn or wildfire? Who knows, but it seems to us (at least to Bag Man, Super HOTPA, and myself) that this presents us with an opportune time to pull over and take some pretty pictures. We proceed to make our case to Jeem (who is driving at the time) and argue that surely this isn't a bad idea.

After all, how many chances do you get in this life to snap a few pictures of mountainsides ablaze?

…We'll be far enough off the freeway so we don't present a traffic hazard, right?

…Come on, what could go wrong?

3XHAR, who is fast asleep, says nothing to assist us in our cause.

2:01AM: Jeem ignores our pleas and drives on. We snap a few meager pictures from the moving vehicle, muttering under our breaths that if Jeem's lawn back home was ablaze, we just might get some equally pretty pictures …the scheming commences.

3:00AM: 'He Who Shall Have No Name' is one of the nicest people we know (although if you listen to his WRTIV Mix CD, you wouldn't think that was the case …good gosh but he's a sick and twisted little fellow). Oh well, it's always the quiet ones …regardless, being as nice as he is he lovingly calls Mrs. He Who Shall Have No Name to wish her a good night. Funny thing though, as noted on the timestamp for this entry, back in Wisconsin it's 3:00 AM. Needless to say, Mrs. He Who Shall Have No Name was already in bed and fast asleep …at least she was until she received the phone call. Sheepish apologies follow.

I blame his faux pas on a combination of time zone changes, sleep deprivation, effects from the shingles medication (yes …that's right …shingles medication …but that's another story), and being overcome by the lingering gas that seemed to permeate our very being. Needless to say, once he's off the phone the entertainment value provided to the rest of us by his slight miscalculation lasts for many miles …hilarity ensues.

5:30AM: We arrive in the Seattle area …Huzzah! Seeing as it's as early as it is, we don't want to be pounding on our host's door quite yet, so we stop for a quick breakfast.

Mmmm …good call! Seattle is known for it's outstanding cuisine, not to mention interesting restaurants that oftentimes have their own special blend of coffee (which is a basic food group for many of us on the WRT). So, knowing that this will be our first Seattle-area meal we want to make this memorable.

We stop at Denny's.

7:00AM: We arrive at the home of H-Bomb and Alice In Wonderbread …and oh, do we arrive in style.

But first, a bit of a preliminary explanation is in order …One year H-B and Alice gave as a holiday gift to the Reverend (another member of our cabal, and a past participant on Wacky Road Trips II and III) a Mexican wrestling mask. This proved to be a very entertaining gift. During one planning session for WRTIV we got on the topic of said Mexican wrestling mask and had the epiphany that, wouldn't it be equally entertaining if we all got Mexican wrestling masks and were wearing them as we arrived at H-B and Alice's residence. The motion was carried and the Mexican wrestling masks were ordered …with the exception of one for He Who Shall Have No Name, who wanted to make his own mask (of the non-Mexican wrestling variety). This resulted in the moniker of 'He Who Shall Have No Name' being bestowed upon his personage.

Passing this off as a 'rookie' mistake (rookies …sheesh …what are you going to do with them?), the veterans of WRTIV (namely, 3XHAR, Jeem, and myself) decided that we best take on the responsibility of ensuring that a contingency plan was in place should the seamstress skills of He Who Shall Have No Name fail him. As such, we created a functional (yet stylish) alternative for him in the form of a paper bag with crayon-colored designs and eyeholes cut out …Spiffy!

Well, his seamstress skills didn't fail him and he devised an equally spiffy mask for himself (although, it was still of the non-Mexican wrestling variety, so he loses a few points for that). However, having the contingency mask still proved to be an advantageous move, as 3XHAR's brother (who was originally to have the moniker 'Super Muneco') forgot his mask at home. As such, he claimed the contingency mask for himself and proclaimed (through a self-appointed moniker) that he was 'Bag Man'. …But I digress.

7:00AM: So anyway, we have these Mexican wrestling masks. Approximately 2 blocks or so from our host's home we pull over and don the masks. The middle-aged gentleman who is walking his two dogs in this vicinity stops and looks at us (in a rather expressionless manner) without saying a word. The dogs bark (with expression).

We had laid the groundwork before hand when we called Alice and H-B from the aforementioned Denny's (and in case the question is on anyone's mind …Denny's are the same regardless of where they're located …make of that statement what you will) and asked them to have a camera ready to snap a few pictures upon our arrival (since we wanted to preserve the grand occasion for posterity).

3XHAR had printed off the email directions that we'd been provided by them, that indicated that their house was located on the left side of the street that we would be turning on to. However, they had provided a follow-up email that indicated one slight error in the original directions, since their house was actually on the right side of the street. 3XHAR had not printed this revision. As such, we drive past their house and are a bit confused (hey …we'd been on the road for 36 hours …cut us some slack!).

While calling them again for clarification, we drive round and round the cul-de-sac that lay at the end of their street. Six guys in a minivan wearing masks, driving round and round and round. I'm surprised Homeland Security wasn't notified. Regardless, we receive the correct location for their house and again ask them to be waiting for us outside with cameras at the ready for our arrival. And oh …how we arrive! With the side doors of the minivan wide open we pull in front of their house and proceed to jump out (masks and all) and bound up to their front stoop in rather manly and heroic manner, capes a-wavin' (oh …that's right …I neglected to mention, we have capes as well …Huzzah!) …hilarity ensues.

Thursday, 07/20

1:00AM (or thereabouts): Storm's a comin' …actually, it's already here. We'd been viewing a rather impressive lightning display ('impressive' translating to: "Oh dear God …duck and cover!!") for the last hour or so, and the weather station we pick up on satellite radio tells us that there are severe thunderstorm warnings (80-mile an hour winds …torrential rain …hail …etc.) and tornado watches for southern Minnesota. Hmmm …coincidentally enough, that's where we are at the time …oh well …best to keep going onward …Huzzah!

Shortly thereafter, the 80-mile an hour winds, torrential rain, and hail actually hit. What a grand adventure! Visibility becomes rather non-existent and we navigate by having 3XHAR keep his eyes on the white stripe on the right side of the road while I keep mine on the dotted line in the middle of the road. That, combined with being able to just make out the lights of the car that's in front of us, enables us to keep in our applicable lane and creep along at a senses-stunning speed of 30 miles an hour.

After about half an hour or so of this knuckle-clenching, steering wheel in a vise grip fun the weather station we pick up on satellite radio tells us that anyone who is in southern Minnesota and driving on Interstate 90 should pull over and get off the road IMMEDIATELY due to hazardous conditions. Hmmm …coincidentally enough, that's where we are at the time …oh well …best to keep going onward ..Huzzah!

We manage to keep going onward for all of about 5 more minutes, at which time some small semblance of sanity (combined with the fact that our pace car has determined that discretion is the better part of valor and pulled off the Interstate) prevails, and we pull over and ride it out beneath an overpass. I'm a bit cranky.

2:00AM (or thereabouts): Whew …back on the road we go, and mmmmm …there's nothing like that 'rain fresh, after-the-storm' smell in the air to liven your senses. Unfortunately, the gaseous emissions that continue to be shared by many (or rather, most) of my fellow travelers equates to more of a 'week-old, left out in the sun, salmon that's been eating a steady diet of liverwurst, onions, White Castle hamburgers, and milk for the last month and is wearing used sweat socks' smell. I remain cranky.

Oh well …what better way to dispel crankiness than to sing, Sing, SING!!

All together now …

"High on a hill stood a lonely goatherd,

 

Ladey-yodelayhee-yodelay-hee-oh!

 

What would you give for a girl and goatherd,

 

Ladey-yodelayhee-yodeloh!

 

Yodelayheee …Yodelayheee …Yodelayheee …Yodelayheeheeeee!!

 

Yodelayheeeee …Yodelayheeeee …Yodelayheeeee …Yodelaydee-yodelaydee-yodeloh!!!

 

6:00AM: We hit The Badlands! This translates to our first major picture-taking opportunity (as is illustrated by the fact that each of us with cameras have about 50-100 pictures each of deer and rocks and deer and rocks and deer and rocks. Regardless, it was quite breathtaking and majestic and enabled us to feel a certain level of sympathy for those early settlers who first made the trek west in covered wagons and experienced the groin punch of running into a big, BIG hole in the ground.

We spend an hour or so wandering on a trail (and a bit of time wandering off it as well under the premise that if one of us was bit by a rattlesnake it would provide some entertaining stories for down the road). Unfortunately, no rattlesnakes were to be found …only the signs that instructed us to stay on the trails to avoid rattlesnakes. Oh well …maybe next time.

8:30AM: Breakfast at Wall Drug. The variety of bison, deer, antelope, jackelope, etc. stuffed and mounted heads that adorn the walls there are watching our every move. We quickly eat and move on.

Ahhh ...the Wacky Road Trip. What better test of manly fortitude, Yankee ingenuity, and tolerance of all manner of breathtakingly repugnant and unidentifiable aromas is there? Version 4.0 of the Wacky Road Trip recently occurred, where a group of us ventured west to visit our good friends 'Alice In Wonderbread' and 'H-Bomb' in the far-off and magical land known as Seattle. Participants in this year's excursion consisted of myself (Broken Little Person) and 3XHAR (under the respective guises of 'Espanto' and 'Mil Mascaras', both of us being the only veterans of every past WRT), Jeem (proudly wearing the banner of 'Jushin Thunder Liger' and making a sophomore appearance after having joined us for the first time on WRTIII), and three (that's right ...THREE!) rookies: 3XHAR's brother 'Bag Man' (of whom the honor and title of 'Senior Rookie' was bestowed upon), 'He Who Shall Have No Name', and 'Super HOTPA' (Translation: He's On The Phone Again?).

Wednesday, 07/19

4:30PM-5:30PM: Off to the airport to pick up our wondrous and hella-cool method of transport and conveyance (ummm …yeah …by ‘wondrous’ and ‘hella-cool’ I mean the rented minivan) from the friendly folks at one of the better-known national car rental agencies. What should typically be a 15 minute transaction turns into an hour+ excursion into the realm of calm and steadfast negotiation due to the fact that, while our reservation called for unlimited mileage, the contract that was being presented to us provided for 150 miles, with an additional charge applied to each subsequent mile. Seeing as how the round-trip for WRTIV would be in the neighborhood of 4000+ miles, we expressed some slight hesitancy regarding the contract as it was being presented to us.

The calm and steadfast negotiation mentioned previously was conducted exclusively by Jeem, who could make friends with a rattlesnake if the situation called for it, and who worked with an ever-changing cast of rental company employees (oh well …I guess 1 out of 3 isn't the worse ratio you can have regarding competence) to ensure that our needs were met and the original agreement was honored. 3XHAR and I were relegated to the far corner of the terminal by Jeem due to the fact that our negotiations typically begin with the opening salvo of "What the f**k?!!". While this may be a time-honored negotiation technique, it (for some unknown reason) sometimes sets an adversarial tone for the proceedings, and as such may negatively impact the outcome.

In the final analysis, Jeem's "you can catch more flies with honey" approach proved to be the right course of action (however, we had a pair of beating sticks in reserve just in case the 'honey' proved to be ineffective).

6:00PM-8:00PM: Our traditional pre-departure dinner (i.e., ' The Last Supper') with friends who wish to bid us a fond adieu in case we don't return. After all, one never knows what one might encounter on the WRT ...banjo-playing cannibalistic hillbillies, amorous moose, mountain zombies ...the dangers are virtually endless (i.e., without end). 'The Last Supper' provides us with one last teary farewell in the event that we don't return and also enables the significant others of any WRT participants to ensure that the life insurance papers are signed. In addition, in this instance, it provides the opportunity for many of our circle of friends to take notice of the fact that the afore-mentioned (who I reference in the previous blog entry) enchanting young lady is not a figment of my imagination but really is an actual person. In fact, she's 'Alice In Wonderbread's' sister …as such I can turn to Alice, due to that familial connection, to support my contention that I'm not referencing an imaginary friend when I refer to her (and by ‘her’ I mean the enchanting young lady who is Alice’s sister, not that Alice isn’t enchanting as well …just ask her husband). 

8:00PM: We bid farewell to our friends who joined us and, in the spirit of camaraderie, fraternity, and fellowship, we proceed to hit the road with a song in our hearts to chase them naughty blues away.

8:01PM: A cloud is cast over the spirit of camaraderie, fraternity, and fellowship, as the first internal gaseous expulsion occurs by someone of unidentified personage. I curse the existence of the culprit ...I will have ample opportunity to curse the existence of subsequent culprits many times over before the final mile is logged.

9:00PM: The first of the seven Wacky Road Trip Mix CD's is put on and we sing, Sing, SING!!

All together now ...

"I ain't got no panties, I ain't got no panties on.

 

…I ain't got no panties, I ain't got no panties on.

 

…I ain't got no panties on, I ain't got no panties on."

 

The annual Christkwanzukkah celebration was held yesterday evening at Jim and Kathy's. Photos capturing the festivities are posted in the new album (Holiday Party 2005) on the right. Drink up shriners!

After spending the last five years saying that we really should go there since it's just down the road, a group of us finally paid a visit to Frank Lloyd Wright's Taliesin in Spring Green. An album containing photos from this long overdue adventure is posted on the right.