Broken Little Person Sitting On A Tree Limb

Tuesday, 07/25

 

12:00AM–6:59AM: Pretty much the same as how yesterday was spent …driving …continual, endless, unyielding driving.

 

7:00AM: The journey has reached its end. We pull into 3XHAR's driveway, slide open the minivan doors, and proceed to share with his neighborhood the breathtakingly potent scent that we've been living in for the past 32 hours. Gratefully, the tornado sirens aren't set to register that type of atmospheric disturbance, so we unload in relative peace.

 

Ahhh, the end of the road. And what a road it's been. For many a day we'll remember the sights, the sounds, the smells …(no matter how we might try and forget the smells, they'll unfortunately linger long after the last bag has been unloaded) …of our travels to the far-off shores of the Xanaduesque land known as Wash-Ing-Ton.

 

With a hale and hearty farewell (i.e., the male equivalent of a hug, sharing a high-five with one another) we bid each other a fond adieu and head back to our respective lives that, for this ever-so-brief a moment, were left behind in our quest for grand adventure (i.e., the perfect sushi, new and unequaled cleavage perches with which to snap pretty pictures …purely for the artistic integrity mind you, free samples of Red Bull, and the majesty of our country that only a journey on the open road will bring).

 

We like to think we've learned a little bit not only about each other, but about ourselves as well.

 

But wait ...we're not done yet ...

Postscript:

 

Now that a few weeks have passed since our return, we've had the chance to look back on our travels with equal measures of fondness, nostalgia, and 'what-were-we-thinking?' epiphanies. As a result, some takeaways/observations that shall be recorded in the historic record of past and future Wacky Road Trips are as follows …

 

>The State of Montana came close to breaking us …it was perhaps only the gaping chasm of hopelessness that lay ingrained in the deepest part of our very souls when viewing the long, long road of Montana that prevented a mutiny from occurring. Oh …we've had similar experiences in the past …traversing the entire State of Illinois from the southernmost point all the way to the Wisconsin border (and the bleak and gray coffee that we encountered there) on Wacky Road Trip I …the unending flat that is Kansas (flaattt …so very, very FLAAATTTTTTT) from Wacky Road Trip II …the roundabouts (i.e., inspired works of pure evil) that we encountered in Washington D.C. on Wacky Road Trip III …none of these seem to have accomplished the bending of our spirits that was achieved by the long, long, so very long road of Montana. With that being the case, 3XHAR and I have agreed that it may be prudent to implement a 'maximum distance' qualifier on subsequent Wacky Road Trips (and oh …rest assured …there will be subsequent Wacky Road Trips). Otherwise, if our destination lay beyond our yet-to-be-determined maximum distance, we shall implement the contingency plan that shall come to be known as the 'Wacky Plane Trip'.

 

>When you travel across the country, time zones change. When calling back home to significant others, said time zone changes should be factored into the equation (sorry about that Melissa).

 

>When six people are squeezed into the 'Das Boot'-like confines of a minivan for 30+ hours, one should refrain from utilizing spray cologne inside of the minivan lest he spray not only himself but every other person, item, and inch of the minivan interior. This is particularly important to remember if the afore-mentioned cologne (even if it does bear the markings of 'Old Spice' on the label) brings to mind the dichotomous sweet and sour aroma of a tarted-up courtesan eating Fruit Loops and playing a robust game of fetch with a wet, longhaired dog while in a tepid swamp.

 

>Sugar-free 'Red Bull' tastes better warm than it does cold.

 

>When the person (hereafter referred to as the 'requester') who is putting together the Wacky Road Trip Mix CD's requests of the other participants (hereafter referred to as the 'requestee') of the Wacky Road Trip some particular songs of their choosing to include on said Mix CD's (with which the direction/tone/theme of any individual-specific Mix CD will be derived), it's probably in the best interest of the requestee to actually provide some particular songs of their choosing to the requester, otherwise they leave the direction/tone/theme of the individual-specific Mix CD open to the discretion of the requester. (And believe me, as 'He Who Shall Have No Name' can attest to, there are some rather filthy songs that can be gotten on iTunes …sorry about that Rik).

 

>When a veteran of every past Wacky Road Trip tells a 'rookie' to "turn left here", he should indeed turn left here.

 

>When making solo use of your host's outdoors hot tub/Jacuzzi during the evening hours, you should cover said outdoors hot tub/Jacuzzi when you're finished lest you wish to provide an open invitation to every manner of insectoid visitor to make use of it as well. While past posts re/WRTIV have gone to great lengths to praise the outstanding cuisine that Seattle has to offer, it's doubtful that 'bug stew' is on anyone's menu when it comes to fine dining.

 

>We're fascinated by the fact that a country music/trucker song from the 1970's (namely, 'Convoy') references the color 'chartreuse' in the lyrics. This prompts a number of questions regarding the Trucking industry, however, recognizing the fact that "accidents happen" (i.e., Jimmy Hoffa is still missing), none of those questions shall be asked here.

 

 

And so closes the tome that shall come to be known as 'Wacky Road Trip IV'. Stay tuned for the chronicles of 'Wacky Plane Trip I - Viva Las Vegas', tentatively coming your way in March of 2007. Be there ...Aloha!