It's like our own little Algonquin Round Table

noreply@blogspirit.com (The details of my life are quite inconsequential) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 21:46:47 -0500

Dear Diary,

Went to breakfast yesterday with 3XHAR and kwik2jujj.

We discussed the shaving of the balls.

3XHAR had strawberry pancakes and kwik2jujj and I had french toast.

You are not of the body!

noreply@blogspirit.com (The details of my life are quite inconsequential) — Thu, 30 Jun 2005 01:00:00 -0500

Hmmm ...I tried adding just a terribly witty comment to the most recent post by 3XHAR on his blog, but his blog is under 'Blogger', and they won't permit comments if you don't have a 'Blogger' account yourself (which is rather odd, since I've posted comments on 'Blogarula', which is under the 'Blogger' banner as well). Regardless, I don't want a 'Blogger' account as I'm quite content with the one I have under 'Blogspirit'. The inability to post a comment to '3XHAR' stinks of fascism ...fasicism I say! ...(to paraphrase Dictionary.com: Suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship / Oppressive, dictatorial control) and I'll have none of that. So, I guess I'll just have to keep my terribly witty comment to myself ...good day sir ...I said good day sir!

Thank you sir, may I have another?

noreply@blogspirit.com (The details of my life are quite inconsequential) — Thu, 23 Jun 2005 22:00:31 -0500

So, I'm moving to a new apartment at the end of the month. As preparation for this I contacted my good friends at Charter Communications to get my cable and internet transferred to the new address. Now, having spent a goodly number of years working in a call center (whether it be as rep, supervisor, or manager) I'm well aware of the challenges that can exist re/staffing and training in said environment, however, I'm rather doubtful that even the most liberal application of the term 'customer service' could be used in this instance.

My grand adventure began by waiting on hold for 30 minutes to speak with a rep. This in and of itself is bad enough, but the fact that the 'on hold' music was a charming mixture of generic pop tunes and cringe-inducing ballads helped to heighten the experience (much the way that the experience of having your teeth drilled is heightened when the novocaine wears off). When finally connected, the incessant 'sing-song' demeanor of the rep (who we'll refer to as Rep #1, and who felt it a requirement to insert numerous cheery, chipper, and non-business impacting observations into the conversation) added to the occasion and lengthened the call (which, to my understanding of call center operations, is probably not a good thing if you have customers sitting on hold for 30 minutes in the first place). 'Cheery' and 'chipper' are two adjectives that I (and I imagine most of my friends) would not use to describe my typical state of being, so her attempts at levity were lost on me. Unfortunately (since my new apartment complex has a 'bulk' deal with Charter and is including a reduced cable rate in the rent), Rep #1 informed me (although in a cheery and chipper manner) that she would not be able to assist me, but needed to transfer me to the 'business accounts' department.

I then proceeded to wait for another 20 minutes to speak with the 'business accounts' department whose 'on hold' music was periodically interrupted by a looped announcement (roughly every 30 seconds) stating that if I wanted to pay my bill using the automated billing system I could. I, however, did not want to pay my bill using the automated billing system since 1) if I did I would have chosen option '1' at the onset of the call which would have enabled me to do so and 2) I don't have a bill due ...on the plus side, the persistent (although not quite so cheery and chipper) recorded announcement was somewhat less annoying than the music that was playing. I eventually reached a rep (let's call her Rep #2), however she informed me (in more of a courteous and apologetic rather than cheery and chipper manner) that no, since I was an individual customer I would need to speak with the 'residential accounts' department, so ...back I went. On the plus side, I didn't have to wait another 30 minutes (like I did at the start of my grand adventure), but only 20 ...huzzah!

The courteous and apologetic (and thankfully again, not quite so cheery and chipper) rep I then spoke with in 'residential accounts' (to follow a consistent pattern, let's call her Rep #3) was a bit perplexed, since she too (like the first rep) was under the impression that I needed to speak with 'business accounts' to get my internet transferred to the new address due to the set-up that the apartment complex has re/the cable. So (once again) I was courteously and apologetically transferred (one more time) to 'business accounts'.

With only a 15 minute wait this time I was (again) connected with a rep in 'business accounts'. I explained (to she who I shall refer to as Rep #4) the travels I'd experienced so far in my grand adventure and she seemed to understand what needed to be done. However ...upon perusing her records she indicated that it seemed that the apartment complex (although having informed me of the 'bulk' cable deal they have with Charter and including the designated dollar amount in my monthly rent) had not yet actually set up paperwork with Charter for the aforementioned arrangement, so (you saw this one coming, didn't you), I would need to work with 'residential accounts' to get things taken care of. I was courteously (although not quite so apologetically) transferred back ...on the plus side, I was speaking with more members of the opposite sex (outside of my immediate circle of friends) than I had in quite awhile, so I had that going for me ...huzzah!

With only a 10 minute wait this time I was (again) connected with a rep in 'residential accounts', who coincidentally turned out to be Rep #3 who I had spoke with earlier. We laughed and laughed about the many twists and turns I'd taken so far on my grand adventure and, after I explained why I was again speaking with her, she seemed to understand what needed to be done. Since the 'bulk' cable account hadn't been set up yet with the new apartment complex, they'd transfer my whole kit and kaboodle over 'as is' (both cable and internet) just so we could get the work order filed, and I'd have to get a credit from Charter for the cable portion on my individual bill somewhere down the road. Fine ...I could live with that. A bit of a hassle, but what's that compared to the almost hour and a half of fun and exciting exploration of the inner-workings of Charter's automated phone system and departmental transfer procedures that I'd experienced this evening. Huzzah! ...Rep #3 was entering the information and the conclusion of my grand adventure was in sight. However ...it was at that point that the call dropped.

Not knowing if Rep #3 had completed everything needed before the call dropped, I adopted a cheery and chipper outlook (they'd beat it into me by this point) and once again called Charter. My resolve was strengthened by comparisons to the fact that, although having cleaned the Augean Stables, Hercules still had 7 labors to go before he was finished. Remarkably enough there was only a minimal wait of a few minutes before I spoke with Rep #5. I explained that I had been speaking with Rep #3 and that the call had dropped. Rep #5 courteously and apologetically transferred me back to Rep #3 and we laughed and laughed at how you can't scale the peaks of Mt. Everest without freezing to death a few Sherpas. She courteously and apologetically completed the work order and at long last, my grand adventure had come to a close. Weary from the experience I cheerily made my way to my refrigerator to pop open a cool alcoholic beverage to toast completion of one more item on my moving checklist. However ...it was at that point that I discovered I was out of beer.

I wonder if it's too late to switch to DSL?

Broken Little Person Sitting On A Tree Limb - what_for_you_bury_me_in_the_cold_cold_ground_

It's like our own little Algonquin Round Table

You are not of the body!

Thank you sir, may I have another?